So, I have this guy friend who is the ultimate catch – sexy, successful, intelligent, funny, silly, – the absolute whole nine yards. His problem? Well, we’re about to find that out. All of the following are situations that have actually occurred on more than one occasion. I didn’t believe him that girls could be so absolutely close to clinical retardation either but he provided screen shots for my amusement – and for proof.
In today’s world, you have a mere matter of minutes to attract someone before they’re swiping your booty to the left. More importantly, it takes even less to send guys running in the opposite direction of you. So, let’s break it down. This is how to lose a guy in 10 minutes in the modern world.
Get your sh!t together, ladies. You’re giving us a bad name. These are things that dudes actually hate about us females in today’s modern world of technology.
Disclaimer: I don’t necessarily agree with each one of the deal breakers mentioned, but I’m also not a dude…. And I’m also a total culprit to most of these.
If you’re a lady who walks around and says, “but first…” while turning your front face camera on and putting it up in the air to catch your best angle, you may be keeping your selfies from turning into “us-ies”. Stop the endless and shameless selfies. We should start a charity for those in need of anti-selfie information. Abstinence is key.
What he really thinks: Odd selfies are okay, but when your Instagram or Tinder is littered with that one Zoolander look, SWIPE LEFT! Girls are in the grocery store buying milk and taking selfies. No one cares to see ANOTHER picture of a girl making the same kiss face.
An Instagram Full of Sexy Photos
You may think you look sexy and sassy, but dudes are checking out your inflated ego and not double tapping, let alone tapping-dat-a$$. Just because you get a lot of likes doesn’t mean that you’re being attractive.
What he really thinks: All of these likes are just guys just wanna see your breasts. They don’t actually want to spend time with you. Your boob is literally falling out of that bikini. Can she even spell bikini? Crying, whining, needing attention, taking selfies and I will never date a girl who takes selfies.
Too Strong of Views on Food
Think about your motivation for being vegan or vegetarian. Do you truly care about the health factors and saving the animals and their environment? Eh! Dudes might think different. Boasting about your new diet doesn’t always emphasize your healthy side but your desire-to-be-picture-perfect-skinny side instead.
What he really thinks: You don’t ACTUALLY care to be healthy or to make drastic changes in your life. You’re begin anorexic without saying it out loud. These girls fell on their heads one too many times doing yoga or something. Girls who preach healthy eating and the “Benefits of chia seeds” on their salad on facebook. No one asked or subscribed and you’re not Martha Stewart. Beat it.
The One Line
Ladies, how many times have you said “I’m not hooking up with you” or that you’re only a Tinder to see what the hype was about? Probably tons of times, and you probably meant it the majority of times as well! Dudes aren’t on the same page as you with these one liners, and they take it as a green light to your panties.
What he really thinks: When a girl says “I’m not f*cking you.” Game. Set. Match. Yes she is. The classic, “my friend signed me up for tinder”… weird so did a friend of my other 500 matches… Lame.
Suddenly a Model
With so many photographers readily available to snap a photo of an attractive lady, you may have fallen into the category of suddenly becoming a self-proclaimed Instagram model. Apparently, from a guy’s perspective, this is tacky and ladies without true talent aren’t a must have commodity for men.
What he really thinks: They put all these selfies on face book with a little cleavage and get 75 likes from guys who want to have sex with them and suddenly, they think they’re models. Girls who claim they’re models but hire their own photographer… what’s that all about.
Work Out Chicks
Beefy, mean, hardcore ladies are pretty badass but do guys feel the same way? Nope. You aren’t supposed to have large muscles that emasculate a man… Or so they say. ( I have to watch what I say here because these girls can eff me up ).
What he really thinks: When did this become cool? You look like WWE’s Chyna. I’m supposed to be big spoon there Xena. Or girls who take yoga pose selfies and must go “hey girl I’m just gonna do this hand stand, can you snap it for me real quick. get a few I need the right lighting”.
Rich Girls, Over It
It’s one thing to have been born into money. That’s amazing, you lucky bish. Men don’t like a woman who flaunts all their goodies without having to earn it for themselves.
What he really thinks: If Daddy let you and your sister borrow his brand new Benz and you’re all like ‘my life is OVER aaaahhh’, we’re over it. Girls who get their nails done but only seem to have the time to take the picture of it when they’re conveniently sitting in daddy’s Mercedes or something. like fuck off you could take that picture anywhere and your not cool because you drive that you didn’t earn it you little b!tch.
Queen B or Nawt?
Ladies, we’ve all felt vulnerable from time to time but apparently letting a guy know that you’re a weak bish and that you have had to struggle through life isn’t a way to gain brownie point. Be a strong girl all the time, and leave your past where it belongs. Put down the baggage.
What he really thinks: They act like they’re queen shit and the minute they feel a little vulnerable… they come at you with “my life’s not easy you know” waaawaaa. Stuck up girls who think they’re the shit but the minute you disagree or make one negative comment shut down and talk about how hard their life is.
Get Brains, Not Boobs
It’s no secret that when men are really looking to be with someone, the most attractive kind of girls are the ones with some brains. If you allow your good looks to get you by, it may not get you a date.
What he really thinks: Girls think that because they have big boobs they can be mentally challenged and get away with it. I just want there to be an attractive girl who has something saying worth listening to.
Reaking of Desperation
Ouch. That entire line is an insult. Men aren’t looking to fall in love or even date a girl who flatters herself all over social media. If your pictures are all of you and nothing else that you’re passionate about, you may be reaking of desperation.
What he really thinks: If a girl’s biggest worry in life is if she looks bloated in a Facebook picture, I’m over it.
Social media or not, girls have always had their fake, shady and slimy sides. Cat calls, anyone? The only difference is that now, men can see how catty you are – right on your social media pages. Be nice all the time, and actually mean every compliment you give to another girl. Nice girls always win in the end.
What he really thinks: Girls that comment on each others selfies saying “OMG GORG” or “beautiful” but then they chirp the girl behind her back saying shit like “she wears waaay too much make up”.
Social Media Maniacs
Not all guys are loving the social media side of girls, especially when it debuts your biggest flaws. Pay attention to what you’re actually saying and what your 140 character update is really saying about you.
What he really thinks: Girls who tweet things like “OMG i just saw a spider in my house’. hashtag milk hashtag skim hashtag healthy hashtag diet.
If you use “Oh em gee”, like “SMH” and “LOL” on a daily basis… In real life, you need to step. Like, oh em gee, asap. A-to-the-sap. Unless you’re doing it for humorous purposes (Guilty as charged) once in a while, then I think you might be okay.
What he really thinks: “OMG I LITERALLY CANT EVEN DEAL” girls like that I feel could be convinced they would have a better vocabulary if they ate a dictionary.
Forever 21, Literally
I’m a big fan of the idea of never growing up, which may explain why I’ve never dated this friend of mine. Apparently, if you’re rocking Forever21 and truly living up to that brand’s name then you might be deterring the love bug. It might be time to trade in the fringe crop tops with Carebears on them.
What he really thinks: You’re the legal age? Oh, you had me fooled there. Wow.
Pre Drink Pics
Who doesn’t love snapping a few photos with their ladies before a night out, right? Heck! We spend a long time to get picture perfect for the night. Guys aren’t seeing it like that and actually get the wrong impression; either you’re a party girl or a fake show-off.
What he really thinks: Girls who take the same kitchen pre drink pictures every Saturday with the ‘skinny pose’ and post all 37 of them on Facebook sunday morning when they should still be in bed hungover… After all, I can see all the drinks you apparently had from the pics. It’s always the same pic, just different outfits and they put some party song lyrics in it like they’re really living it up big… only to be going to dollar beers and getting wasted off $15.
Eh! We like to travel in packs sometimes…. In high school. There comes a time when you need to let go of the arm-linking, and bathroom stall sharing. Men like a woman who is confident and can make decisions without the opinions of their whack pack.
What he really thinks: Girls who travel in packs… not just to the washroom but everywhere. I recently was talking to a girl who was asking me what she should be for halloween, and I don’t have a costume yet either so I said we could make an afternoon of it and she responded with a “NOOOO I CANT DO THAT TO MY GIRLS!”
What he really wants: I want a girl that I can literally picture myself walking in the door and just being like yo whats up. and if I wanna sit on the couch and just chill and not have to cuddle thats cool, and she doesn’t try and push weird foods from some foreign part of the world for their vitamin z. Plus, a woman who has common sense to figure out some problems on her own and doesn’t make a whinny voice when she wants attention. Why can’t she just say “wow that was a long day.” I’d get the point… don’t look at me and pout for attention, I got this.
Share your relationship advice in the comment section below.
Ladies, you probably want to ream into him right now or maybe you’re like me and “like totes, oh em gee” understand where he’s coming from. What is your take on this?
Men, what is your favorite deal breaker of this post that you agree on?
Need more do’s and dont’s of dating? Read this relationship advice.